The Referee Got Runned Over By a Soccer Mom

It has been a few years since my "Twas the Night Before Christmas" diddy hit the forum, so I thought another great parody was in order.  And yes, although my dd did try golf, she has still stuck with select soccer.  And as the showcase tourneys are comin' to town, remember not to live vicariously through your child's greatness, but to help them find their greatness in whatever it may be.  This may be done by shutting the mouth and opening the ears.  They will all too soon be growing up and leaving home and you will miss those days wrapped in five snuggies to those double zinced up nose sunburnt days.  My dd is in high school now, and I think I have mellowed out over the years from academy to select, that, and I have borrowed my neighbor's duct tape.

Wishing you all a safe, nontwisted, nonbroken and concussionless holiday and I look forward to hearing you all sing at the tourneys!


The Referee Got Runned Over by a Soccer Mom
(to the tune of Grandma Got Runned Over by a Reindeer)

The referee got runned over by a soccer mom,
Whistlin’ the big game Christmas Eve.
You can say there’s no such things as red cards,
But that night all the parents, we believed.

The mom was drinkin’ at the tourney
From her Super Big Gulp Cup,
Added was her medication
The sailor in her mouth, it just crept up.

Oh the mom, she was a-hecklin’
All who played there on the grass.
Then the ref produced a red card
When her daughter foully kicked another’s a$$.

The referee got runned over by a soccer mom,
Whistlin’ the big game Christmas Eve.
You can say there’s no such things as red cards,
But that night all the parents, we believed.

Now this mom jumped off the bleachers
And without a sense of shame
Aimed her anger toward the referee
And got everyone ejected from the game.

When we found him Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
There were scratches on his forehead
From the mom’s fake hot pink nails that were shellacked

The referee got runned over by a soccer mom,
Whistlin’ the big game Christmas Eve.
You can say there’s no such things as red cards,
But that night all the parents, we believed.

Listen up you soccer parents
Don’t you criticize or gripe
Just know the ref is wearin’ headgear
And the mom is in the pokey wearin’ stripes.

Now I’ve warned you in the forum,
Before your dd throws a fist,
Tell her all about the story,
It’s not a rumor and those red cards DO exist!

The referee got runned over by a soccer mom,
Whistlin’ the big game Christmas Eve.
You can say there’s no such things as red cards,
But that night all the parents, we believed.

And sittin’ in the pokey I believe!