Very imortant info- Thanks 04 parents!!!!

This is a guide to help the new parents of NTX Academy. Please feel free to add to the list at any time should you think something needs to be added.

"opponents goalkeeper was unbelievable" - your teams sucks. The only reason we didn't get the result we wanted was because your goalkeeper saved all those shots going to the top corner of the net. It has nothing to do with the fact that 90% of them were straight at him/her.

"broken arm" - same as every day life. However, if one of our players didn't have one, we would have got the result we wanted.

"we try to play the right way" - our team is not as athletic as the one we just played, which is the reason we didn't get the result we wanted.

"snarl" - i can't believe the opponents had some competitive girls on the other team, but we don't care becuase we play soccer the right way.

"tie" - the result of the game last weekend. However, the other teams goalkeeper was unbelievable, our midfielder had a broken arm and there was at least one girl that played with a snarl on her face.

big, tall girl" - the opposing player that is faster, more aggressive and more athletic than the players on our team.

"we play with skill" - our girls are not very athletic so even though we didn't get the result we wanted, the skill on display was great.

"results don't matter in Academy soccer" - this only comes into play when we don't get the result we wanted.

"dominate" - a word used to describe how much better our team played than yours. However, in its most often used connotation in Academy soccer it typically speaks to how we dominated, even though we didn't get the result we wanted.

"they play dirty" - used to describe an awkward tackle (imagine that in Academy girls soccer) where an opposing player either cries for Mommy or must have everyone take a knee. Any kid that might be more agressive than your child might be considered a dirty player.

"we played our subs" - our starters are so good, but since we are all about development our coach insists on giving all these 7 year olds playing time. Well, the subs suck and they are the reason we didn't get the result we wanted.

"iv'e been involved in soccer for years" - the first sign that your are probably misguided. A club team state championship or varsity soccer as well as coaching your little kids U4 rec team are the very reasons you need to keep your mouth shut. A parent that has never seen a soccer ball is better than having the "ive been involved in soccer for years" parent around. There are very, very, very few exceptions for this rule.

"that team plays kickball" - our defenders are so slow and their big, tall girl is so fast all they need to do is get it up to that girl and she scores. In real world soccer terms it is call playing the ball in behind the defenders.

"thug" - we thought we had the biggest, baddest 7 year old in DFW. Where in the world did you find someone meaner?

Ha! Great post!

http://www.txsoccer.net/t8645-newbie-guide-to-understanding-the-ntx-academy-vernacular
Here is the original post. very funny.

nothing about bad calls or biased refs?

Don't forget the secret code words used among parents to make it look like they make good decisions and only have their child's best interest at heart:

Getting "extra touches on the ball" - This usually means that your academy daughter is sand-bagging for some poor rec team that practices twice before the season starts. It's an academy parent's way of thumping their chests about how great their little Mia is and has nothing to do with making her better.

Coach "gets the most out of his players" - He screams at the kids incessantly. In fact, he screams like a banshee on crack and probably mixes in a fair share of 4 letter words. It's not necessarily that the players are dong their best; they are scared to death of failing.

The coach is "not for everyone" - In addition to the above, he's a tyrant that the club refuses to rein in because the guy gets wins. The coach is usually "for" the top 6-7 players on his team and sucks up to those parents, but he's an a$$ to all the rest.

My daughter "just can't get enough soccer" or "would play all the time" - It's code for a parent (usually the dad) living vicariously through his daughter in a bad way. The girl will be active on at least 2-3 teams, practice 3-4 nights per week, do private skills every week, probably the Friday shooting sessions, and play no less than 3 games on an average weekend.

"Burn out" - See the preceding statement/defininition then add the appropriate list of chronic injuries to a bleary-eyed, socially inept, 7-14 year old girl who lives in soccer shoes.

Parent admits he "presses his daughter to be the best (in anything she does)". The last part is a lie. He barely keeps up with her school work, dance classes, and other activities that hold little value to him. What this means is he hangs around to watch his daughter at every soccer practice, loudly rips her for every mistake in a game, and has the girl in tears on the ride home after any match her team loses. In other words, this definition fits most of the posters on this forum.

What is this 'imortant' you speak of?

"My DD always keeps score. " - "I always keep score and then I make sure my DD knows it too."

"She gets really upset when the team loses" - "I get really upset when the team loses."

One could go on and on, Big Tex...

"The coach for that team is terribe" - He turned down my daughter for a spot on his team.

"Their parents are absolutely nuts" - Their sideline is a lot like ours.

"Don't let that girls push you around" - Send her to the hospital via Care Flight.

"Can you believe that coach cussed where his players could hear him?" - He talks around his players the same way I talk around my own children.

"He's a drunk when the team goes out of town for tournaments" - The coach drinks about the same as I do; he just hides the container better.

"My daughter is in ODP" - Of course I know she'll never be Olympic material - just like the other half-million children who are in it; I just like saying she's in ODP.

"My daughter plays in ECNL" - I get to respond to posts in that section of the forum.

"My daughter plays LHGCL D1" - Your daughter doesn't.

"My daughter plays LHGCL D2" - If the team doesn't make it into D1 after this year, we're leaving.

"My daughter plays LHGCL D3" - At least it's not Plano. Whew.

"My daughter plays in PPL" - It IS select soccer. No, seriously. You're thinking of rec.

"My daughter used to play select soccer" - I can't believe we ever wasted our time and money on that.

How about:

"the FBR rankings are really just for fun and we don't take them too seriously": meaning: We really live and die by those stinking rankings and have to take a day off work to digest them when a new one comes out.

Probably need to know these as well (from the '02s)

http://www.txsoccer.net/t12659-the-best-excuses?highlight=excuses

Xara wrote:One could go on and on, Big Tex...

"The coach for that team is terribe" - He turned down my daughter for a spot on his team.

"Their parents are absolutely nuts" - Their sideline is a lot like ours.

"Don't let that girls push you around" - Send her to the hospital via Care Flight.

"Can you believe that coach cussed where his players could hear him?" - He talks around his players the same way I talk around my own children.

"He's a drunk when the team goes out of town for tournaments" - The coach drinks about the same as I do; he just hides the container better.

"My daughter is in ODP" - Of course I know she'll never be Olympic material - just like the other half-million children who are in it; I just like saying she's in ODP.

"My daughter plays in ECNL" - I get to respond to posts in that section of the forum.

"My daughter plays LHGCL D1" - Your daughter doesn't.

"My daughter plays LHGCL D2" - If the team doesn't make it into D1 after this year, we're leaving.

"My daughter plays LHGCL D3" - At least it's not Plano. Whew.

"My daughter plays in PPL" - It IS select soccer. No, seriously. You're thinking of rec.

"My daughter used to play select soccer" - I can't believe we ever wasted our time and money on that.

Some of these are simply brilliant.