Re: Question for the seasoned parents

by CrashDavis 11/09/17, 12:38 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:
janed6775 wrote:The situation is that my DD was a starter on her team. She was absolutely loving it. The team would have qualified for LHGCL, possibly D1, more likely D3. Axel nailed it. SRSA girls were brought out and my DD lost her starting spot. She deflated faster than a popped balloon. She had declined offers on D1 teams (I too am the taxi driver) to play with this group of girls and coach. It was her decision, but one we were happy with. My opinion on her skill level is that if LHGCL had D2 for U11s, she'd be a solid D2 starter. She is getting 20+ minutes in D1 play, but she's used to playing full time at a D2 level. She doesn't know what she did wrong (nothing) or how she can get back to starting (she can't). As one poster stated, it's SRSA1 and SRSA2 playing and with current rules, it's legal for them to do so. They don't pass unless it's to each other and one is just hateful (demeaning) to the players on our team. Our goal is to find a way to make soccer fun for our daughter again without breaking NTSSA contracts. Her coach has not been helpful and is actively avoiding working through this. I hesitate to go to the club because from what I've read, it won't get us anywhere. We know we won't get a penny back and that's fine. If we aren't able to secure a release, is she allowed to play futsal for another team or to dual roster on a US Club team? Those posters who said we're screwed. Yep. We know. What we need now is guidance an options we may have to help turn this negative into a positive and hopefully avoid her giving up the sport she used to love.

Real classy hiding behind your anonymous screen name to call a 10 year old girl hateful.

You are living in a world of unicorns and rainbows if you think that 10 year old girls can not be hateful.

Did my post say that?

by TxFutbal 11/09/17, 12:41 pm

Get a release and find a club playing primetime and get her involved in futsal ASAP. This will enable a reset to go back to LH next year. There will be a TON of movement of girls between teams/clubs next year when your age group splits to D1, D2, and D3. Focus on finding a club/team/coach that gets what 10-11-12 yr olds are all about. Learning to play soccer, making friends, having fun, and competing at an appropriate level. Clubs that come to mind that can help you are:
1. Mutiny (Downs) - good program.. focused on kids vs. $. Very involved in Futsal as well.
2. Texans (Scarfone) - good coach
3. D'Feeters (Aranha, Angell, Vielma) - all good coaches and located all over metroplex.
4. Sting (Pfeil) good coach. New to Sting this year from D'Feeters. Has multiple ages so be careful about the amount of time being spent with '07s
5. Fever (Jones). Good program. Parents can get mouthy though
6. Ayses and Blitz may also be an option. Parents (at least on girls side) have always been classy in my experience in the older age groups.

by Leftovers 11/09/17, 12:41 pm

So, based on what I am reading, are you miffed because you are playing in D1 against that competition or are you miffed because your daughter has to take a turn on the bench and isnt playing the whole game? As you yourself stated she is used to playing the whole game. Most of our daughters take their turn on the bench and we must accept that. Well most of us anyways, actually maybe only some of us. Calling out a 10yoa girls isnt very adult either. Did she hit your daughter, call her names...or something like that? Sounds like a case of my dd isnt playing the whole game as we are used to which makes me mad so I have to blame something syndrome.

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 12:41 pm

CrashDavis wrote:
SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:
janed6775 wrote:The situation is that my DD was a starter on her team. She was absolutely loving it. The team would have qualified for LHGCL, possibly D1, more likely D3. Axel nailed it. SRSA girls were brought out and my DD lost her starting spot. She deflated faster than a popped balloon. She had declined offers on D1 teams (I too am the taxi driver) to play with this group of girls and coach. It was her decision, but one we were happy with. My opinion on her skill level is that if LHGCL had D2 for U11s, she'd be a solid D2 starter. She is getting 20+ minutes in D1 play, but she's used to playing full time at a D2 level. She doesn't know what she did wrong (nothing) or how she can get back to starting (she can't). As one poster stated, it's SRSA1 and SRSA2 playing and with current rules, it's legal for them to do so. They don't pass unless it's to each other and one is just hateful (demeaning) to the players on our team. Our goal is to find a way to make soccer fun for our daughter again without breaking NTSSA contracts. Her coach has not been helpful and is actively avoiding working through this. I hesitate to go to the club because from what I've read, it won't get us anywhere. We know we won't get a penny back and that's fine. If we aren't able to secure a release, is she allowed to play futsal for another team or to dual roster on a US Club team? Those posters who said we're screwed. Yep. We know. What we need now is guidance an options we may have to help turn this negative into a positive and hopefully avoid her giving up the sport she used to love.

Real classy hiding behind your anonymous screen name to call a 10 year old girl hateful.

You are living in a world of unicorns and rainbows if you think that 10 year old girls can not be hateful.

Did my post say that?

Nope, but you are not happy the OP called it out as a reason that this experience is miserable for his daughter.

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 12:44 pm

Leftovers wrote:So, based on what I am reading, are you miffed because you are playing in D1 against that competition or are you miffed because your daughter has to take a turn on the bench and isnt playing the whole game? As you yourself stated she is used to playing the whole game. Most of our daughters take their turn on the bench and we must accept that. Well most of us anyways, actually maybe only some of us. Calling out a 10yoa girls isnt very adult either. Did she hit your daughter, call her names...or something like that? Sounds like a case of my dd isnt playing the whole game as we are used to which makes me mad so I have to blame something syndrome.

Apparently, you can't read very well.

by CrashDavis 11/09/17, 12:49 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:
SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:
janed6775 wrote:The situation is that my DD was a starter on her team. She was absolutely loving it. The team would have qualified for LHGCL, possibly D1, more likely D3. Axel nailed it. SRSA girls were brought out and my DD lost her starting spot. She deflated faster than a popped balloon. She had declined offers on D1 teams (I too am the taxi driver) to play with this group of girls and coach. It was her decision, but one we were happy with. My opinion on her skill level is that if LHGCL had D2 for U11s, she'd be a solid D2 starter. She is getting 20+ minutes in D1 play, but she's used to playing full time at a D2 level. She doesn't know what she did wrong (nothing) or how she can get back to starting (she can't). As one poster stated, it's SRSA1 and SRSA2 playing and with current rules, it's legal for them to do so. They don't pass unless it's to each other and one is just hateful (demeaning) to the players on our team. Our goal is to find a way to make soccer fun for our daughter again without breaking NTSSA contracts. Her coach has not been helpful and is actively avoiding working through this. I hesitate to go to the club because from what I've read, it won't get us anywhere. We know we won't get a penny back and that's fine. If we aren't able to secure a release, is she allowed to play futsal for another team or to dual roster on a US Club team? Those posters who said we're screwed. Yep. We know. What we need now is guidance an options we may have to help turn this negative into a positive and hopefully avoid her giving up the sport she used to love.

Real classy hiding behind your anonymous screen name to call a 10 year old girl hateful.

You are living in a world of unicorns and rainbows if you think that 10 year old girls can not be hateful.

Did my post say that?

Nope, but you are not happy the OP called it out as a reason that this experience is miserable for his daughter.

Oh, I expect that if OP's DD was playing the whole game it wouldn't really matter who was or wasn't "hateful." In fact, I suspect her whole premise of "getting advice" from an anonymous board on just what to do about her terrible situation is just an excuse to call a 10 year old girl hateful because she made a face at her little angel.

by Leftovers 11/09/17, 12:57 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:
Leftovers wrote:So, based on what I am reading, are you miffed because you are playing in D1 against that competition or are you miffed because your daughter has to take a turn on the bench and isnt playing the whole game? As you yourself stated she is used to playing the whole game. Most of our daughters take their turn on the bench and we must accept that. Well most of us anyways, actually maybe only some of us. Calling out a 10yoa girls isnt very adult either. Did she hit your daughter, call her names...or something like that? Sounds like a case of my dd isnt playing the whole game as we are used to which makes me mad so I have to blame something syndrome.

Apparently, you can't read very well.

At least to the 5th grade level, so thats why I asked for clarification. Is it because your not getting full playing time or because you are playing to D1? Later on it was expanded into saying a girl was hateful (demeaning).

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 01:05 pm

CrashDavis wrote:
SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:
SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:
janed6775 wrote:The situation is that my DD was a starter on her team. She was absolutely loving it. The team would have qualified for LHGCL, possibly D1, more likely D3. Axel nailed it. SRSA girls were brought out and my DD lost her starting spot. She deflated faster than a popped balloon. She had declined offers on D1 teams (I too am the taxi driver) to play with this group of girls and coach. It was her decision, but one we were happy with. My opinion on her skill level is that if LHGCL had D2 for U11s, she'd be a solid D2 starter. She is getting 20+ minutes in D1 play, but she's used to playing full time at a D2 level. She doesn't know what she did wrong (nothing) or how she can get back to starting (she can't). As one poster stated, it's SRSA1 and SRSA2 playing and with current rules, it's legal for them to do so. They don't pass unless it's to each other and one is just hateful (demeaning) to the players on our team. Our goal is to find a way to make soccer fun for our daughter again without breaking NTSSA contracts. Her coach has not been helpful and is actively avoiding working through this. I hesitate to go to the club because from what I've read, it won't get us anywhere. We know we won't get a penny back and that's fine. If we aren't able to secure a release, is she allowed to play futsal for another team or to dual roster on a US Club team? Those posters who said we're screwed. Yep. We know. What we need now is guidance an options we may have to help turn this negative into a positive and hopefully avoid her giving up the sport she used to love.

Real classy hiding behind your anonymous screen name to call a 10 year old girl hateful.

You are living in a world of unicorns and rainbows if you think that 10 year old girls can not be hateful.

Did my post say that?

Nope, but you are not happy the OP called it out as a reason that this experience is miserable for his daughter.

Oh, I expect that if OP's DD was playing the whole game it wouldn't really matter who was or wasn't "hateful." In fact, I suspect her whole premise of "getting advice" from an anonymous board on just what to do about her terrible situation is just an excuse to call a 10 year old girl hateful because she made a face at her little angel.

ummm, ok

CrashDavis - defender of Solar and their SRSA scam. As long as the rules don't prohibit it, no one has room to complain. Screwing over 10-year olds as a hobby - and PROUD of it.

by janed6775 11/09/17, 01:07 pm

Fair enough ... I should not say the girl is hateful, that's not kind. My apologies for addressing the person as opposed to the behavior she chooses to use sometimes. The statement was not necessary considering what we are looking for is advice on what the options might be.

For the other posters. Thank you!! You've provided some very useful advice and some good things to think over. We really do want our DD to keep playing and we want to honor the commitment we made. We are working through all the "suck it up buttercup", "life's a bitch" strategies trying to find a way to get her to engage. Our hope is SHE will get this worked out with her coach, but it's good to know what her options are if she's not successful.

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 01:10 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:
HomeStretch wrote:If your kid loves the game, dont even consider moving in middle of season at u11. That's sending her the wrong message that wont serve her well if she sticks with the sport. Encourage her to use this as motivation to get better. SRSA girls are not magic. They put one foot in front of the other same as your kid. Talk to the coach only about what she needs to improve and have her give 110% to working on those things. If your kid, not u, feels coach is not fair after a few years, go find a coach who values your kid. Kids need a chance to work through challenges before parents bail them out.

Yep. Encourage her to work through the misery. She should use it as a learning experience - it's a valuable 9 month lesson for a 10-year-old. While she may come to hate sitting on the bench in games, and dread the next 70 practices, so what? She needs to learn to work through challenges such as these. And by the way - she will deal with hateful people throughout her life - might as well Dribble her to experience it as early as possible in life.

"Suck it up, buttercup", comes to mind.

So does, "life is a b!tch"

Enjoy the tears and the angst - but know she is learning a good lesson, and after 9 months, will undoubtedly want to try it again next year.

Also, tap that checkbook - 'cause you will be paying to travel to tournaments to watch her ride the pine. The SRSA parents do appreciate your contribution as they "guest" on your team.

ummm, sarcasm Shocked

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 01:15 pm

And if you do f orce her to tough it out for the season, she won't hate you . . . forever.

(and yes, while 98% of the time I side with the commitment, sometimes, the other 2% prevails and your dd's well-being - physical/emotional - should take precedence)

by CrashDavis 11/09/17, 01:21 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:
SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:
SickofSilliness wrote:
CrashDavis wrote:

Real classy hiding behind your anonymous screen name to call a 10 year old girl hateful.

You are living in a world of unicorns and rainbows if you think that 10 year old girls can not be hateful.

Did my post say that?

Nope, but you are not happy the OP called it out as a reason that this experience is miserable for his daughter.

Oh, I expect that if OP's DD was playing the whole game it wouldn't really matter who was or wasn't "hateful." In fact, I suspect her whole premise of "getting advice" from an anonymous board on just what to do about her terrible situation is just an excuse to call a 10 year old girl hateful because she made a face at her little angel.

ummm, ok

CrashDavis - defender of Solar and their SRSA scam. As long as the rules don't prohibit it, no one has room to complain. Screwing over 10-year olds as a hobby - and PROUD of it.

I love how you snowflakes use hyperbole and then retreat to the self-proclaimed moral high ground to "win" an argument. I didn't defend any one, I merely expressed my distaste in an adult anonymously coming onto a public message board, explaining the facts in such a way as to give informed readers a 50/50 chance of positively identifying a 10 year old girl, and then calling her hateful. I think that is the act of a coward.

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 01:28 pm

Crash - you've been on here before defending the Solar approach telling us how your dd was impacted and you think the bait and switch (or as you said, "the contract") was a great thing.

by soccermomntx 11/09/17, 01:31 pm

I still can't figure out what SRSA stands for. Can someone please let us uniformed parents know what this is? T

by soccermomntx 11/09/17, 01:32 pm

soccermomntx wrote:I still can't figure out what SRSA stands for. Can someone please let us uniformed parents know what this is?

by Coach 11/09/17, 01:37 pm

Solar Red Soccer Angels?

by CrashDavis 11/09/17, 01:37 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:Crash - you've been on here before defending the Solar approach telling us how your dd was impacted and you think the bait and switch (or as you said, "the contract") was a great thing.

OK? So that is my opinion, and, instead of just disagreeing with me, you feel the need to conflate it to the level of a "scam" and state that I am a "proud defender" of "screwing over 10 year old girls." There is room for disagreement. However, where I find no room for disagreement is in giving out details that would allow people a 50/50 chance of identifying a 10 year old girl and then calling her hateful, or later modifying that moniker and admonishing her for engaging in behavior that is hateful (a distinction without a difference). Why don't you address that? Are you ok with that?

by HomeStretch 11/09/17, 02:02 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:And if you do f orce her to tough it out for the season, she won't hate you . . . forever.

(and yes, while 98% of the time I side with the commitment, sometimes, the other 2% prevails and your dd's well-being - physical/emotional - should take precedence)

Hey I'm not saying put on blinders. Sometimes a coach really doesn't have your kid's best interest at heart and for the sake of your kid and family you HAVE to move. Been there too.

Just saying u11 is old enough to let them start to find out what they're made of and how much they truly love the game. Probably her first time sitting the bench. It will happen to all of them if they play long enough. If the parents encourage the cut and run and cosign the kids first response of "how do we get away from this idiot coach who lied to us"...might be missing an opportunity for the kid to grow.

Not saying all kids are the same or what worked for mine will work for others...just saying I speak from experience on this one. One of the BEST things ever happened to my dd in soccer was dedicating herself to getting better after a coach made it clear he didn't want her.

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 02:04 pm

Please explain how a general person would have a 50/50 chance of identifying who the described person is?

(I would guess anyone on the team would be aware of her behavior.)

by CrashDavis 11/09/17, 02:07 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:Please explain how a general person would have a 50/50 chance of identifying who the described person is?

(I would guess anyone on the team would be aware of her behavior.)

If you can't figure that out, I'm not going to spend the time walking you through it. It's clear that you don't want to address the issue but just wander down another rabbit trail. You non-response is all the response I need.

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 02:16 pm

The question was simple - it was your statement that anyone had a 50-50 chance of identifying the girl. Your inability to explain how some outsider could research and identify 2 possible players from the 6 teams (even if all teams rosters are listed) is not surprising.

by timmyh 11/09/17, 02:25 pm

I unfortunately see bullying out there on the field all the time. I have zero problem with someone coming on here and saying they are leaving a team, in part, due to bullying or hatefulness.

The child who is bullying wasn't called out by name. The child isn't able to be identified at all. In my opinion, the OP has nothing to apologize for. It may not have been necessary to bring up, but some seemed to be questioning the decision to leave the team, so the OP added it as a reason for why the DD is miserable. It's relevant to the situation, and they were called to expound on it.

Crash, you seem much more concerned that someone incredibly close to the situation who knows the rosters inside and out might have a 50% chance to identify a bully in your club, and much less concerned that bullying in your club is contributing to a toxic environment for some players. Your anger at the situation seems a bit oddly misplaced to me and it might be you who, in your own words, "doesn't want to address the issue but just wander down another rabbit trail."

by Leftovers 11/09/17, 02:30 pm

And what behavior is that exactly? That was never answered. You restate anyone on the team would be aware of her behavior SOS. So again I ask, what was that. She hit the other girl whose place she took on the field, she cuss and swear at them..what? Instead of bouncing around with disparaging remarks about a 10yoa girl, someone give behavioral specifics. I guess you cant do that, but didn't ask for any either from OP. Now we got someone talking about bullying. This is where these things go when someone throws out these statements without backing anything up. Complete trash talk.

by SickofStupidity 11/09/17, 02:40 pm

Whatever behavior that occurred (or didn't) - and were able to assess themselves whether it was hateful, bullying, or neither.

timmyh - his concern appeared to be that broadly "people" had a 50/50 chance of determining the player, not teammates or team parents

by KeeperCommander 11/09/17, 03:10 pm

Stones and Crash did you just belittle a poster for belittling a 10 year old behind a user name? While using a username. Interesting very interesting.

by CrashDavis 11/09/17, 03:18 pm

SickofSilliness wrote:The question was simple - it was your statement that anyone had a 50-50 chance of identifying the girl. Your inability to explain how some outsider could research and identify 2 possible players from the 6 teams (even if all teams rosters are listed) is not surprising.

Again, you just make up facts to support your narrative when you can't address the argument head on. I never said "anyone had a 50-50 chance of identifying the girl." What I said was "explaining the facts in such a way as to give informed readers a 50/50 chance of positively identifying a 10 year old girl." There is a big difference between "informed readers" and "anyone," but that doesn't support your non-sequitur. And there is only 1 Solar team in LHGCL D1 that has two SRSA players that guests with it, so its not hard to figure out how the OP is talking about. So do you want to answer the question now, or blaze another rabbit trail to go down?

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