Looking to replace a few quitters

Helllo Soccer People,
It appears as though I've lost a few, shall we say..... lazy quitters.  Apparently these whiney kids didn't like to run....miles, by themselves in the dark....because they were playing like loooooosers!  I will need some replacements that aren't quitters, don't cry when they are called loooooosers, don't have crazy parents always sticking their nose in my soccer business and have younger mothers, under 30 please.  Parents must be over 6' tall and have good teeth.  I shall inspect the whole family at the tryout.  If your dd stinks please don't show up!  You know who you are.


That will be all.

Stand in front of a mirror and scream “send it”. If you can break the mirror, you’re a good offensive Coach. Now find another mirror and scream “get her”, if you can break that mirror too then you’re also a good defensive Coach. I suspect the real problem is you’re not cussing at the girls enough. A word of caution - if all of the parents are over 6 ft tall, you may run into some slight difficulties at the conclusion of the game.

Apparently in my zeal for efficiency, I placed this under the wrong age group. I will leave this here though, because I know there are more loooooosers to cull from this herd too.

good day

Maybe they decided joining a cross country team wasnt for them and went to a real soccer coach that teaches skills. Go figure.

SuperCoach wrote:Helllo Soccer People,
It appears as though I've lost a few, shall we say..... lazy quitters.  Apparently these whiney kids didn't like to run....miles, by themselves in the dark....because they were playing like loooooosers!  I will need some replacements that aren't quitters, don't cry when they are called loooooosers, don't have crazy parents always sticking their nose in my soccer business and have younger mothers, under 30 please.  Parents must be over 6' tall and have good teeth.  I shall inspect the whole family at the tryout.  If your dd stinks please don't show up!  You know who you are.


That will be all.

Any credit checks or income minimums?