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Post by 4eversoccer 10/07/12, 09:29 am

So, I went to Blue Sky Allen Saturday to watch a group of 04 girls play their first academy team. They'd been playing together in rec and had decided to go into academy this year, so I wanted to cheer them on. No, I don't have a kid on the team or even in the age group. These were my friend's kids.

The game was a close one. Only 1 sub on each side and give & go the whole game. One point Stars, one point Andromeda (don't know which one). In the end, Stars won 5-4. I wouldn't call that a huge loss. It's a game - you win some, you lose some, right?

However, as the Stars lined up in center field to shake hands, the other team never showed. They didn't cross over center field, but marched around the back, never shaking hands with the other team. The girls on the Stars didn't know what to think...neither did their parents. Since my kids never played indoor this young, I didn't have a point of reference. My daughter's played indoor, outdoor, futsol, and quickfoot for years...and they always shake hands at the end...win or lose. It's what they're TAUGHT to do.

I know we all get caught up in the game. I KNOW that I'm hyper competitive, and have been frustrated...especially with my kids performances at times. So, it begs the question..Is soccer so competitive at this age group that kids are being taught this is acceptable behavior? I don't blame the girls, they were following their coach. As a parent, I would like to think that I would have questioned this unsportsmanlike behavior. So, was this just frustration? Oversight? Or just plain bad sportsmanship?

Please...help me understand.
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Post by FriscoSoccer2004 10/07/12, 09:46 am

I don't know the coach or situation (for example was the facility running behind and team/coach told to immediately exit the field to start the next game) but I can say I cannot remember a team that wouldn't shake hands after a game (I have seen individual kids refuse to shake hands but those are the one offs and individuals decisions not coach or club.)

I ultimately I think in general good sportsmanship is still encouraged by most if not all clubs and coaches.

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Post by 4eversoccer 10/07/12, 09:57 am

I agree, I don't know the coach, team or even the club. My kids have also never played at Blue Sky yet, so I don't know if that is a rule of the stadium...although I've witnessed the hand shakes by teams before the game.

I was just curious if someone knew something I didn't... like hurrying to get off the field or handshakes not needed. I know that as kids get older, the "parent bridge" goes away, so I wasn't sure if the handshakes were considered unnecessary.
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Post by SolarPower00 10/07/12, 09:57 am

I agree with you...I'm find it to be unsportsmanlike. I think the end of game handshake gets forgotten in indoor and is non-existant in futsal.
But, for one team to line up or attempt to
Line up for a hand shake and get snubbed is sad.
It reflect negatively on the other team, their coach and the club as a whole.
Coincidently, this weekend, my DD told me about a a post game hand shake with a highly rated '04 Dallas Texans team, that occurred in indoor recently. One of the girls on the other team went down the line saying "you lost, you lost, you lost".
Despicable. I wish I would have heard about it when it happened...so I could immediately address it with the winning team's coach.
So, as bad as the not shaking hands is...I guess it could be worse.
Maybe, we'll get to the point where we only shake at the end of the tournament...
Kind of like NHL hockey does at the conclusion of a playoff series.


Last edited by SolarPower00 on 10/07/12, 10:02 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by boilerjoe_96 10/07/12, 10:01 am

I am just a dad, but had to fill in for our coach for an indoor game last winter at Blue sky. I totally spaced having the girls line up for the hand shake(on the small field). I am now undefeated as a soccer coach now (1-0). king I wasn't on this board then, maybe someone posted soemthing similiar...who knows.

I spaced it. Felt bad afterwards, but by the time I remembered, the other team was gone. Our girls were playing U5, they had 1 1/2 years of shaking hands, they knew it too, but they are little girls. I should have instructed them to line up, just plain forgot...

I would say most likely they just forgot, and didn't mean anything by it. I think some are a littel quick to worry about others sportsmanship, when we all have 101 things going on... If score was 20-1 than I can see some hurt feelings...but really, ever misplaced your keys? Move on...
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Post by soccerfan2001 10/07/12, 10:09 am

I think it was frustration due to the loss. No matter how bad you win...or lose...you should always have the kids shake hands. Our team has lost some games by 10 or more and then have also won some by 10 or more but never once has the coach not had them shake hands. Even when you could see the frustration on her face she still has the girls, as well as herself, go shake hands with the other team. So no I don't think it was "forgotten" but nice try to justify the unsportsmanlike conduct.

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Post by Just an Observer 10/07/12, 10:16 am

Perhaps they were just trying to hurry and get out of the way of the team coming on for the next game? I recall (way back when) those games at Blue Sky are back-to-back.

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Post by KnKsDad 10/07/12, 11:15 pm

Where are all the posters who would say the end of game handshake is just a rec thing?? A month or so ago I was hammered by some academy veterans for suggesting that a very prominent team was being unsportsmanlike for repeatedly failing to take a knee during a player injury timeout. It was stated that taking a knee was a rec ball thing. My eyes aren't the best, but during 8 games spanning two tournaments that my DD played in, each time a player went down, everyone took a knee. With respect to this one prominent team however, the apologists stated taking a knee was a rec ball thing. I know it's coming, taking a knee and post game handshake are two entirely different things, I know, I know...


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Post by TorquauyU 11/07/12, 12:53 am

Most of the kids games I see at Blue Sky Allen, BS Colony, PSA 1 and PSA 2 end without a formal handshake. The older kids usually do it like the pros and just roam around slapping hands.
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Post by EPL Fan 11/07/12, 07:09 am

Jazzmart wrote:Where are all the posters who would say the end of game handshake is just a rec thing?? A month or so ago I was hammered by some academy veterans for suggesting that a very prominent team was being unsportsmanlike for repeatedly failing to take a knee during a player injury timeout. It was stated that taking a knee was a rec ball thing. My eyes aren't the best, but during 8 games spanning two tournaments that my DD played in, each time a player went down, everyone took a knee. With respect to this one prominent team however, the apologists stated taking a knee was a rec ball thing. I know it's coming, taking a knee and post game handshake are two entirely different things, I know, I know...


Taking a knee during an injury did not start as an act of respect for the injured player. It started in youth football as a way for the ref to control the players on the field so that they did not all run over to the injured player. We have now turned it into a a sportsmanship issue. There are people that believe that you can crap up when you take a knee, which I guess can happen. I have no problem, nor do I judge them to be bad sports if they do not take a knee as long as the stay controlled and away from the injured player.
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Post by Indy28 11/07/12, 07:47 am

Having players playing at full speed and then dropping to one knee and stopping isn't always the best of ideas. It is NOT unsportsmanlike if kids don't take a knee. However, I must admit that "EPL Fan's" unexpected typo has left me laughing this morning and I appreciated the well needed giggle. lol!

" There are people that believe that you can crap up when you take a knee, which I guess can happen."

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Post by Guest 11/07/12, 08:14 am

The older groups still hand shake at the end of each game. They have just started using the pros system of just walking around. alot less formal and seems to be cooler than the line hand shake, but just as meaningful!

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Post by EPL Fan 11/07/12, 08:37 am

Indy28 wrote:Having players playing at full speed and then dropping to one knee and stopping isn't always the best of ideas. It is NOT unsportsmanlike if kids don't take a knee. However, I must admit that "EPL Fan's" unexpected typo has left me laughing this morning and I appreciated the well needed giggle. lol!

" There are people that believe that you can crap up when you take a knee, which I guess can happen."

What do you mean unexpected typo, people do believe you can crap up and I guess you could cramp up as well. Smile
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Post by go99 11/07/12, 09:22 am

LMAO boy Jazzy sure is still holding on to that one. They are not the same thing so why bring it up. I know it sucks that you lost to that team and you are reaching for straws to get back at them but give the Knee thing a rest and let it go
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Post by go99 11/07/12, 09:26 am

Oh to the topic though. DD has been kicked in the handshake line and also had a girl tell them "you guys played awfull". Welcome to academy soccer. Keep winning and people will really start to hate you.
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Post by FriscoSoccer2004 11/07/12, 09:33 am

EPL Fan wrote:
Jazzmart wrote:Where are all the posters who would say the end of game handshake is just a rec thing?? A month or so ago I was hammered by some academy veterans for suggesting that a very prominent team was being unsportsmanlike for repeatedly failing to take a knee during a player injury timeout. It was stated that taking a knee was a rec ball thing. My eyes aren't the best, but during 8 games spanning two tournaments that my DD played in, each time a player went down, everyone took a knee. With respect to this one prominent team however, the apologists stated taking a knee was a rec ball thing. I know it's coming, taking a knee and post game handshake are two entirely different things, I know, I know...


Taking a knee during an injury did not start as an act of respect for the injured player. It started in youth football as a way for the ref to control the players on the field so that they did not all run over to the injured player. We have now turned it into a a sportsmanship issue. There are people that believe that you can crap up when you take a knee, which I guess can happen. I have no problem, nor do I judge them to be bad sports if they do not take a knee as long as the stay controlled and away from the injured player.

Wow, I do not want to see that happen, but it made me laugh!
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Post by Guest 11/07/12, 09:40 am

go99 wrote:Oh to the topic though. DD has been kicked in the handshake line and also had a girl tell them "you guys played awfull". Welcome to academy soccer. Keep winning and people will really start to hate you.


My opinion in this case is the coach’s duties are not done! Coaches need to model good sportsmanship and also need to be in proximity when shaking hands to maybe guide a young player on how we win and loose graciously.

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