If you have been through "going Select" with an older DD, what is your best advice for 02 first-timers?

deepthoughts wrote:Wwhat is your #1 best piece of advice[/color] that you can pass down to the newbies about select soccer

texflats wrote:My U17 kid was a scrawny thing at U11 and I was advised on several occasions by more than one coach that "your kid should not play soccer. she might get hurt". Ahem. (What a bunch of crap!) I like to say that she was the last kid selected by the last team in Plano Premier. This was after a D3 coach that had promised her a spot, gave that spot to a big strong kid that had never played the game. My kid said, "dad how could that be? she has no skills?" That team was the top team in D3 in the fall; did not make it in qualifying for U12 and they blew up and disbanded before U13. My kid kept working and getting better and growing and moved up to D3, then to D2. She went from a bench player to a starter to a 90 minute player and became the captain of her team.

Its a long road from U11 to college. Its a marathon not a sprint. Kids grow, develop, change, etc. And of course this is soccer. It does not mean anything in the big picture. So RELAX enjoy the ride. All of the bits and pieces of advice here are right on. Keep your eyes open. Dont burn bridges. Try out for lots of clubs. LISTEN TO YOUR KID! :-) And Relax its gonna work out just fine.

deepthoughts wrote:We are 6 1/2 months away from signing day. Lots of people who visit this forum are experiencing "going Select" for the first time.

If you have "been there, done that" with an older kid, what is your #1 best piece of advice that you can pass down to the newbies about select soccer, what its like, competitive sports in general, keeping things in perspective, etc?




Although I may be in the minority, I think that these forums should be used for something better than just what-team-is-maybe-blowing-up rumors.

Its Me wrote:1. Relax and don't get caught up in the, "My kid is playing for a Div I/II team."
To many parents will place their kids on a Div I/II team when their kid should be on a lower level team.
Then they'll get upset when Lil' Susie only gets 5 minutes of playing time per half.

2. Ask the coach where does he see your kids on the team? Out of the 16 kids is she #11 or #16.
That's a fair question for both your kid and coach.

3. Private lessons is a must. Most kids in Div I have participated in private lessons at some time in the past.
They may even be participating at this time. Have them focus on fundamentals and how to be a technical player.
Only problem is in NTX most coaches want BIG and FAST. If you don't have at least you'll have skills which will payoff in the future.

4. Make sure your DD is happy with her team because she will be spending a LOT of time with them.
Also, parents are important because you'll be having a lot of lunches and hotel time together.

5. Don't worry about the colleges until they're U16/U17. Most college coaches aren't looking at kids until they're U17 anyway.

Uncle Numanga wrote:

Its Me wrote:1. Relax and don't get caught up in the, "My kid is playing for a Div I/II team."
To many parents will place their kids on a Div I/II team when their kid should be on a lower level team.
Then they'll get upset when Lil' Susie only gets 5 minutes of playing time per half.

2. Ask the coach where does he see your kids on the team? Out of the 16 kids is she #11 or #16.
That's a fair question for both your kid and coach.

3. Private lessons is a must. Most kids in Div I have participated in private lessons at some time in the past.
They may even be participating at this time. Have them focus on fundamentals and how to be a technical player.
Only problem is in NTX most coaches want BIG and FAST. If you don't have at least you'll have skills which will payoff in the future.

4. Make sure your DD is happy with her team because she will be spending a LOT of time with them.
Also, parents are important because you'll be having a lot of lunches and hotel time together.

5. Don't worry about the colleges until they're U16/U17. Most college coaches aren't looking at kids until they're U17 anyway.

While he makes some good points, this last statement is wrong. Girls are committing early than ever. The greatest number of coaches are watching the U16 girls. We had 10 of 18 committed before signing as U17's.

deepthoughts wrote:We are 6 1/2 months away from signing day. Lots of people who visit this forum are experiencing "going Select" for the first time.

If you have "been there, done that" with an older kid, what is your #1 best piece of advice that you can pass down to the newbies about select soccer, what its like, competitive sports in general, keeping things in perspective, etc?

Its Me wrote:

Uncle Numanga wrote:

Its Me wrote:1. Relax and don't get caught up in the, "My kid is playing for a Div I/II team."
To many parents will place their kids on a Div I/II team when their kid should be on a lower level team.
Then they'll get upset when Lil' Susie only gets 5 minutes of playing time per half.

2. Ask the coach where does he see your kids on the team? Out of the 16 kids is she #11 or #16.
That's a fair question for both your kid and coach.

3. Private lessons is a must. Most kids in Div I have participated in private lessons at some time in the past.
They may even be participating at this time. Have them focus on fundamentals and how to be a technical player.
Only problem is in NTX most coaches want BIG and FAST. If you don't have at least you'll have skills which will payoff in the future.

4. Make sure your DD is happy with her team because she will be spending a LOT of time with them.
Also, parents are important because you'll be having a lot of lunches and hotel time together.

5. Don't worry about the colleges until they're U16/U17. Most college coaches aren't looking at kids until they're U17 anyway.

While he makes some good points, this last statement is wrong. Girls are committing early than ever. The greatest number of coaches are watching the U16 girls. We had 10 of 18 committed before signing as U17's.

Your are correct. Curious, was your team one of the top 3 teams in Div I?

OOrah wrote: My top advice points are:

1 - Don't be afraid to try out / change teams. Getting stuck on the wrong team for misguided loyalty reason or she has friends reason is just a bad decision. Your DD needs to be challenged and in a positive environment. She will make friends on the next team too. Believe it or not, not every coach gets angry at his players. Too many coaches believe in the stick vs the carrot.

2 - Move your DD to a team where she is a solid starter, like #3 - #8 on the team, but not to a team where she is #1 / #2 or #9 or below. Sitting on the bench blows for self-confidence. I have seen so few players go from the bench to captain. Mostly bench players wind up staying bench players. When it goes right, academy is a filtering system that helps kids land on the right team for their ability, where they are important but have room to grow too.

3 - Don't try to move to THE top teams like the top 1 or 2. That is a pressure cooker where the parents are wound supertite and emergency parent meetings happen with one or two losses. Those teams can't be happy when they win because it is expected. If they only beat the #9 team 2-0, people are bent that not enough goals were scored. It is way way better to be on team #7 or #8 than it is to be on team #1. Almost every game is a great challenge and every win a great celebration. There is a lot of good being the underdog if the team is competitive.

4 - If your DD will sit on the bench on a D1 team, aim for a middle of the pack D2 or D3 team where she plays. It is better to play in Plano or Arlington and be acknowleged as valuable to the team, than it is to sit on the pine in Highlands.

5 - Watch the coach during practice and games, both games where the coach is winning and games where the coach is losing, before joining. Does the coach motivate or issue threats and intimidate? The girls will learn a lot of life lessons from soccer and all team sports. Like it or not, this coach you pick will leave a lasting impression.

OOrah wrote:

deepthoughts wrote:We are 6 1/2 months away from signing day. Lots of people who visit this forum are experiencing "going Select" for the first time.

If you have "been there, done that" with an older kid, what is your #1 best piece of advice that you can pass down to the newbies about select soccer, what its like, competitive sports in general, keeping things in perspective, etc?

My top advice points are:

1 - Don't be afraid to try out / change teams. Getting stuck on the wrong team for misguided loyalty reason or she has friends reason is just a bad decision. Your DD needs to be challenged and in a positive environment. She will make friends on the next team too. Believe it or not, not every coach gets angry at his players. Too many coaches believe in the stick vs the carrot.

2 - Move your DD to a team where she is a solid starter, like #3 - #8 on the team, but not to a team where she is #1 / #2 or #9 or below. Sitting on the bench blows for self-confidence. I have seen so few players go from the bench to captain. Mostly bench players wind up staying bench players. When it goes right, academy is a filtering system that helps kids land on the right team for their ability, where they are important but have room to grow too.

3 - Don't try to move to THE top teams like the top 1 or 2. That is a pressure cooker where the parents are wound supertite and emergency parent meetings happen with one or two losses. Those teams can't be happy when they win because it is expected. If they only beat the #9 team 2-0, people are bent that not enough goals were scored. It is way way better to be on team #7 or #8 than it is to be on team #1. Almost every game is a great challenge and every win a great celebration. There is a lot of good being the underdog if the team is competitive.

4 - If your DD will sit on the bench on a D1 team, aim for a middle of the pack D2 or D3 team where she plays. It is better to play in Plano or Arlington and be acknowleged as valuable to the team, than it is to sit on the pine in Highlands.

5 - Watch the coach during practice and games, both games where the coach is winning and games where the coach is losing, before joining. Does the coach motivate or issue threats and intimidate? The girls will learn a lot of life lessons from soccer and all team sports. Like it or not, this coach you pick will leave a lasting impression.

OOrah wrote:
5 - Watch the coach during practice and games, both games where the coach is winning and games where the coach is losing, before joining. Does the coach motivate or issue threats and intimidate? The girls will learn a lot of life lessons from soccer and all team sports. Like it or not, this coach you pick will leave a lasting impression.

Its Me wrote:

OOrah wrote:

deepthoughts wrote:We are 6 1/2 months away from signing day. Lots of people who visit this forum are experiencing "going Select" for the first time.

If you have "been there, done that" with an older kid, what is your #1 best piece of advice that you can pass down to the newbies about select soccer, what its like, competitive sports in general, keeping things in perspective, etc?

My top advice points are:

1 - Don't be afraid to try out / change teams. Getting stuck on the wrong team for misguided loyalty reason or she has friends reason is just a bad decision. Your DD needs to be challenged and in a positive environment. She will make friends on the next team too. Believe it or not, not every coach gets angry at his players. Too many coaches believe in the stick vs the carrot.

2 - Move your DD to a team where she is a solid starter, like #3 - #8 on the team, but not to a team where she is #1 / #2 or #9 or below. Sitting on the bench blows for self-confidence. I have seen so few players go from the bench to captain. Mostly bench players wind up staying bench players. When it goes right, academy is a filtering system that helps kids land on the right team for their ability, where they are important but have room to grow too.

3 - Don't try to move to THE top teams like the top 1 or 2. That is a pressure cooker where the parents are wound supertite and emergency parent meetings happen with one or two losses. Those teams can't be happy when they win because it is expected. If they only beat the #9 team 2-0, people are bent that not enough goals were scored. It is way way better to be on team #7 or #8 than it is to be on team #1. Almost every game is a great challenge and every win a great celebration. There is a lot of good being the underdog if the team is competitive.

4 - If your DD will sit on the bench on a D1 team, aim for a middle of the pack D2 or D3 team where she plays. It is better to play in Plano or Arlington and be acknowleged as valuable to the team, than it is to sit on the pine in Highlands.

5 - Watch the coach during practice and games, both games where the coach is winning and games where the coach is losing, before joining. Does the coach motivate or issue threats and intimidate? The girls will learn a lot of life lessons from soccer and all team sports. Like it or not, this coach you pick will leave a lasting impression.

There is a place for everyone in NTX.
However, from experience if your child is able to play in Lake Highlands then find a Div I, II, or III team for them. It's really hard to move a kid from Arlington or Plano to a Div I or II team because of the pace of play. I had a hard time moving my U17 son from Arlington when he was 14 because coaches didn't think he could keep up with the pace of play coming from Arlington. Most coaches would rather take a chance with a kid already in the league. After getting on a team at U15 it's been easier to stay.

Just my 2cents!

OOrah wrote:
My top advice points are:

1 - Don't be afraid to try out / change teams. Getting stuck on the wrong team for misguided loyalty reason or she has friends reason is just a bad decision. Your DD needs to be challenged and in a positive environment. She will make friends on the next team too. Believe it or not, not every coach gets angry at his players. Too many coaches believe in the stick vs the carrot.

2 - Move your DD to a team where she is a solid starter, like #3 - #8 on the team, but not to a team where she is #1 / #2 or #9 or below. Sitting on the bench blows for self-confidence. I have seen so few players go from the bench to captain. Mostly bench players wind up staying bench players. When it goes right, academy is a filtering system that helps kids land on the right team for their ability, where they are important but have room to grow too.

3 - Don't try to move to THE top teams like the top 1 or 2. That is a pressure cooker where the parents are wound supertite and emergency parent meetings happen with one or two losses. Those teams can't be happy when they win because it is expected. If they only beat the #9 team 2-0, people are bent that not enough goals were scored. It is way way better to be on team #7 or #8 than it is to be on team #1. Almost every game is a great challenge and every win a great celebration. There is a lot of good being the underdog if the team is competitive.

4 - If your DD will sit on the bench on a D1 team, aim for a middle of the pack D2 or D3 team where she plays. It is better to play in Plano or Arlington and be acknowleged as valuable to the team, than it is to sit on the pine in Highlands.

5 - Watch the coach during practice and games, both games where the coach is winning and games where the coach is losing, before joining. Does the coach motivate or issue threats and intimidate? The girls will learn a lot of life lessons from soccer and all team sports. Like it or not, this coach you pick will leave a lasting impression.