In need of advice

driftingwolf wrote:

Xara wrote:

Gunner9 wrote:The coach needs first crack, but this guy would hear from me immediately the first (and last) time he instructed one of mine. If the first post is accurate, I'd also be asking the coach why he plans to sign them. July 1 and you're in for a year.

I've never seen a single player good enough to make a miserable sideline worth it. I have seen a single cancerous parent implode a good team. Best of luck.

I agree with this post, but it sounds like the kid is spreading the same cancer as the dad. In a case like that, I recommend that a group of the parents go to the coach and tell him/her that they will consider their options if the new player and her dad are part of the team next week. This happens more than one might suspect. It's not a matter of telling the coach how to run the team. It's more about letting the coach know that integrity, chemistry, and comaraderie are far more important than winning an extra game or two with a butthead player on the field and a fulltime jacka$$ on the sideline. The parents are the ones paying for the product. They deserve the right to be happy with it. And who knows? The PitA dad may one day learn to play well with others. But probably not.

I wouldn't worry about the 10 years old. If coach asks her to start passing, she will. Otherwise, the coach is the problem.

I agree that the coaches lack of action is the bigger problem.

The coach should have addressed it with the parent and child to put a stop to it already or they are implicitly condoning the actions.

The coach may not want to risk losing the player, and plan on addressing and changing the parent and child behavior AFTER signing, but that is not fair to the parent and child as they could easily view that as changing the rules after signing and lead to a bad situation.

The coach needs to address it now and let them make their decision to change behavior or move on PRIOR to signing.

driftingwolf wrote:

Xara wrote:

Gunner9 wrote:The coach needs first crack, but this guy would hear from me immediately the first (and last) time he instructed one of mine. If the first post is accurate, I'd also be asking the coach why he plans to sign them. July 1 and you're in for a year.

I've never seen a single player good enough to make a miserable sideline worth it. I have seen a single cancerous parent implode a good team. Best of luck.

I agree with this post, but it sounds like the kid is spreading the same cancer as the dad. In a case like that, I recommend that a group of the parents go to the coach and tell him/her that they will consider their options if the new player and her dad are part of the team next week. This happens more than one might suspect. It's not a matter of telling the coach how to run the team. It's more about letting the coach know that integrity, chemistry, and comaraderie are far more important than winning an extra game or two with a butthead player on the field and a fulltime jacka$$ on the sideline. The parents are the ones paying for the product. They deserve the right to be happy with it. And who knows? The PitA dad may one day learn to play well with others. But probably not.

I wouldn't worry about the 10 years old. If coach asks her to start passing, she will. Otherwise, the coach is the problem.

While I can appreciate the glass-half-full perspective in regard to the child, I would submit that she is obviously a product of the father if the OP is accurate in his/her description of the situation. If the father is reined in, then perhaps the girl will become a team player. But that is not always the case. There are kids who just can't play well with others - much like their parents - and will be a drain on any team despite their talents until they have burned every bridge in select soccer.

I agree this issue should ultimately be resolved by the coach. But the coach may not resolve it to the parents' satisfaction because the dad in question simply cannot control himself. That's going to make for a miserable year on the same sideline with him. I would make absolutely sure that the fix is in place before signing on. But at the same time, if the parents take a stand and say "we don't want this guy coaching from the sideline", then they better be prepared to shutup, as well. Despite posts suggesting otherwise, I would estimate that at least 1/2 of all parents regularly issue directives to their offspring during games. A coach can't tell this guy to button-up if there are others who can't do the same... even if it's only from time to time.

02Dad wrote:

Nooneaskedmebut wrote: Terribly sorry about that. My bad.

Then show a little class and edit/remove her name.

I would hate to be on your team... Piss you off and next thing you know and your DD's name shows up in this forum. If its not a big deal to you then go ahead and post your daughters name on here.

Didn't think you would.

O K GOD. I ve been trying to edit it but the system won't allow me. Never said it wasn't a big deal. Don't put words in my mouth.

Nooneaskedmebut wrote: T o be honest
I n my opinion the two
M ust go.


V ery hard to deal with I can't handle stuff like this D on't get me wrong A bout this whole thing.Cheers! Hoping Jacko reads this and either backs off or leaves.

[strike] Even Better!!

On any team there should be NO sideline coaching. I don't even allow it when I coach rec. It is nothing more than a distraction to your kid at best. Soccer can not be micro- managed. The coach should be crystal clear about it and have the full backing of the club as it is usually in any clubs rules.

Xara wrote:

driftingwolf wrote:

Xara wrote:

Gunner9 wrote:The coach needs first crack, but this guy would hear from me immediately the first (and last) time he instructed one of mine. If the first post is accurate, I'd also be asking the coach why he plans to sign them. July 1 and you're in for a year.

I've never seen a single player good enough to make a miserable sideline worth it. I have seen a single cancerous parent implode a good team. Best of luck.

I agree with this post, but it sounds like the kid is spreading the same cancer as the dad. In a case like that, I recommend that a group of the parents go to the coach and tell him/her that they will consider their options if the new player and her dad are part of the team next week. This happens more than one might suspect. It's not a matter of telling the coach how to run the team. It's more about letting the coach know that integrity, chemistry, and comaraderie are far more important than winning an extra game or two with a butthead player on the field and a fulltime jacka$$ on the sideline. The parents are the ones paying for the product. They deserve the right to be happy with it. And who knows? The PitA dad may one day learn to play well with others. But probably not.

I wouldn't worry about the 10 years old. If coach asks her to start passing, she will. Otherwise, the coach is the problem.

While I can appreciate the glass-half-full perspective in regard to the child, I would submit that she is obviously a product of the father if the OP is accurate in his/her description of the situation.

Totally agree.

I should've said I wouldn't worry about the 10 years old ALONE. The worst case is the coach can bench her.

I have mom coming over to players bench to give tips to her daughters in REC. You can't be too serious.

If your team is not willing to win at all costs then get ready for PPL or APL. Maybe this dad in question understands what's at stake. Maybe a team full of beta dads? Maybe the dude is severely undersized and copes by controlling a bunch of easy going folks?

02Dad wrote:

02Dad wrote:

Nooneaskedmebut wrote:

Names Removed

Cheers!

Hoping Jacko reads this and either backs off or leaves.

I hope you reconsider throwing out a 10 year old girls name out on the internet/forum. Not cool, even if you don't like them.

Your antics are giving Sting Rezaie a bad name.

Sorry they posted your family name.

Wow!!!! That got ugly quick lol. nothing like airing your dirty laundry for the entire 02 world to see.

scoregazam wrote:Wow!!!! That got ugly quick lol. nothing like airing your dirty laundry for the entire 02 world to see.

Forum weather report is predicting progressively increasing chances of ugliness between now and 12:01am Sunday.

Ugliness is expected to subside quickly after Sunday, with predicted spikes around July 23 and steady ugliness from July 23-August 6.

Frequency of ugliness is expected to drastically decrease after August 6th, with the long-term forecast predicting random occasional outbreaks from Sept-April.

Thanks, gophers...will keep the umbrella handy

I can't believe all the things that I hear here

soccerworld wrote:I can't believe all the things that I hear here

Most of us are simply giving reasonable advice.

soccerworld wrote:I can't believe all the things that I hear here

You have audio for this? Cool.

I hate it when the parents that are standing around me on the sideline are screaming at their kids trying to coach. It makes it very difficult for the kids to execute on all the good coaching points I’m shouting out.

The game is played by the kids on the field, not by us on this forum. It is so obvious to me that somebody is trying to bad mouth somebody else right before signing day for personal reasons.FYI, the coach's 97 team is playing national championship final today. He knows how to control the parents. He is also very good judge of talent. Maybe, Nooneaskedmebut, your daughter is in the process getting cut????????????

OOrah wrote:If he is yelling at all the kids, call a coach AND parent meeting and air it out this week before signing day. The reality is it won't stop all the way but maybe it will be reduced by 50%. If you look to coach alone, you might find out your coach don't have the backbone you wish he did and then you are stuck for a year. If coach knows he has the backing of 90% of the parents, he may be firmer with the maniac.

You're kidding, right? Coaches just love the activist parent that calls a coach and parent meeting to force his hand just before signing.

This is the coaches team. If you have a problem with it, let the coach know you have a problem with it and let him handle it. Stirring everyone up just before signing isn't going to help anything.

ballhead wrote:

OOrah wrote:If he is yelling at all the kids, call a coach AND parent meeting and air it out this week before signing day. The reality is it won't stop all the way but maybe it will be reduced by 50%. If you look to coach alone, you might find out your coach don't have the backbone you wish he did and then you are stuck for a year. If coach knows he has the backing of 90% of the parents, he may be firmer with the maniac.

You're kidding, right? Coaches just love the activist parent that calls a coach and parent meeting to force his hand just before signing.

This is the coaches team. If you have a problem with it, let the coach know you have a problem with it and let him handle it. Stirring everyone up just before signing isn't going to help anything.

Sounds like you are a coach. Parents, just give the money and keep your mouths shut, huh?

OOrah wrote:

ballhead wrote:

OOrah wrote:If he is yelling at all the kids, call a coach AND parent meeting and air it out this week before signing day. The reality is it won't stop all the way but maybe it will be reduced by 50%. If you look to coach alone, you might find out your coach don't have the backbone you wish he did and then you are stuck for a year. If coach knows he has the backing of 90% of the parents, he may be firmer with the maniac.

You're kidding, right? Coaches just love the activist parent that calls a coach and parent meeting to force his hand just before signing.

This is the coaches team. If you have a problem with it, let the coach know you have a problem with it and let him handle it. Stirring everyone up just before signing isn't going to help anything.

Sounds like you are a coach. Parents, just give the money and keep your mouths shut, huh?

Not a coach at all, furthest thing from it, but I have been in the system for a long time, and we're almost done.

If you trust your coach, you let him/her take care of it. If its so important that you will not sign unless the other player leaves, let the coach know that.

Its the coaches job to select the team. That's what you are paying him for.

If the guy bothers you, and the coach doesn't make you feel comfortable that he'll take care of it to your satisfaction, then you have a decision to make.

If you actually think that calling a "parent AND coach" meeting the week before signing to deal with another parent you don't approve of, will improve the situation, I think you'd be wrong.

It would more likely create enough drama to get a few parents that are on the fence about staying or leaving, something else to think about.

Most teams have good enough chemistry that one nut parent can't really upset the apple cart. Every year or two my dd's team gets one of them, and the worst that happens is that he annoys everyone for a while, then notices that no one talks to him or has anything to do with him, so feeling somewhat ostracized, tones it down then leaves at the end of the year.

I wouldn't want anything to do with a coach who needs the "support of 90% of the parents" to have the guts to do the right thing about an errant parent.

OOrah wrote:

ballhead wrote:

OOrah wrote:If he is yelling at all the kids, call a coach AND parent meeting and air it out this week before signing day. The reality is it won't stop all the way but maybe it will be reduced by 50%. If you look to coach alone, you might find out your coach don't have the backbone you wish he did and then you are stuck for a year. If coach knows he has the backing of 90% of the parents, he may be firmer with the maniac.

You're kidding, right? Coaches just love the activist parent that calls a coach and parent meeting to force his hand just before signing.

This is the coaches team. If you have a problem with it, let the coach know you have a problem with it and let him handle it. Stirring everyone up just before signing isn't going to help anything.

Sounds like you are a coach. Parents, just give the money and keep your mouths shut, huh?

The system survives on weak people that live through the achievements of their children. Pay the club and shut up is the m.o. of all servile parents.

Voice of reason here! While my dd has never been on the same team with his dd, we have guested with a team at the same time his dd guest played. The guy wasn't that bad. Yes, he coached from the sideline(who hasnt), he is a little over the top at times, but he was always nice to me and others around him. He isn't the kind of parent that is divisive and splits teams apart(those are the bad ones). He actually seemed a little shy around other parents. While I'm not exactly sure, I think the reason they always got kicked off teams is because he shopped his dd around constantly and she guested played with "a lot" of teams and didn't ever show much loyalty to any team and coaches don't like that! If him coaching on the sideline is your issue, just put hear plugs in and let coach handle it. As for his dd, she is a good player that probably feels pressured from her dad to be a superstar and that's why she tries to hold onto the ball too long! Oh, I almost forgot....VERY POOR TASTE TO PUT GIRLS NAME ON THE FORUM....

If the girl is a great player and is needed by the coach, I wonder if he will take the money and bench the girl in order to get the parent under control. He might be reticent to do anything at this point in order to just lock the girl in.

I will say this though. If anyone tried to give directions to my daughter during a game or any other time, there would be words.

Coaches - plural of coach - There are many coaches that don't care about bad parents.

Coach's - possessive - This is the coach's team and he makes the decisions. Now, it is part of all the coaches' job to deal with the parents.

Thanks!

bobmac15 wrote:personally, i don't have this problem because i don't know jack about soccer. every time i yell "boot it biggins" all the the other parents just give me that "dude, really?" look and i shut up.

+1

Happy to say that it has worked very well so far. The individual just hushed and everything is working so well. How hard is it? Maybe more difficult for some than others. Just glad it didn't blow out.

Nooneaskedmebut wrote: Happy to say that it has worked very well so far. The individual just hushed and everything is working so well. How hard is it? Maybe more difficult for some than others. Just glad it didn't blow out.

I am glad that it worked. Sometimes it is just matter of time.How did you guys do in qualifying? did your dd played a lot of minutes? Did his dd play any? How is he doing differently?