unhappy? Already?

mamasoccer wrote:
If they are new to the team.. then they have to know that the qualifying stuff is only a small snapshot. Of course, coaches are going to go with the players they think can get the job done in qualifying.. that is their job.. to get their team placed. The season is long.. seems like all the kids will get the opportunities throughout the season.

I have told my kid she every time she goes to practice, plays a game... she is earning her spot. Every time. Nothing is guaranteed. In a year.. if it is not what she had hoped for.. then we will re-evaluate but for now she needs to suck it up, go out and play, and when she gets her opportunities on the field.. make them count! Starting, not starting, 10 minutes, or more than half a game. It is up to her to put in the time and the effort and to prove that she deserves to be on the field every game.

I think they should give it time. Give the coach time. Seems silly to go through contract signing and qualifying and want to give up.

Sometimes the best lessons and the greatest growth come through adversity.

That line is interesting and very idealistic. Now is the time that coaches want to win. They aren't going to be bothered by playing players that they don't think will get that job done.

This is what bothers many people. Let me give you some examples:

Some girls are "Gamers". They are lazy in practice and sometimes don't even show up without any good reason. However, they are fantastic in games. If the other parents are on-board with the most important thing is for the team to win, then that should not be a problem.

Also, what about the girls that rarely show up at practice due to other commitments, but are working hard behind-the-scenes? These girls may not be able to make quite a few practices, but their outside work is more than the rest of the girls (ex. they may be getting private lessons, practicing with a sibling's team with a release due to logistical reasons). These girls may be starters because they are just better.

The problem with the latter is that the player is rarely seen, so parents will look at this as unfair, because their girls come to every practice and work hard.

The problem with the former is that, again, parents see this as unfair because, in actuality, they are NOT on-board with just winning, but want their daughters to play or start because they think that's "fair".

Also, coaches that have sons or daughters on the team who are mediocre and not nearly as good as some bench players, but who play ALL game, is viewed as unfair.

Unfortunately, the "work-hard-and-be-rewarded" thinking is a nice fantasy, but just like in business, success is most important and, in the end, clubs are businesses. Plus, favoritism by coaches playing their own kids or others is tragic, but reality.

Coaches will have parent meetings and tell you that playing time is determined by: coming to practice, practicing hard, etc. etc. Some coaches are good about being fair and have enough quality to make that happen, but many do not.

Keep in mind, these are just some things that can cause derision and division within a team, yet with a great winning record, a coach may not care and just hope to attract new players the next season who are better anyway.

yo#10 wrote:

ralfdallas wrote:

pringlelover wrote:just shocked anyone who made D1 would want out so quickly.

D1 means beans if it appears your kid's coach undervalues her and/or if the sideline is full of intolerable jackasses who think it's okay to yell at other people's kids.

You are right on da $$$$And feet and Sting arent only top teams experiencing this. I know people on a top 3 team who already wishin they hadn't signed papers. Good starting players just not feelin it's right place. ya know.ALL Kids arent being valued-coach focusing on 2 kids and thats it-giving chances to just a few kids just showin confidence in a few rather than seeing if there's some other kids who can step up. Huge favortism shown(to few kids and parents)-other parents seen it-kids see it all around NOT GOOD,typically tight group is really broken so early in season. Be real suprised if team makes it with all players intact to end of year. And if a strong group or strong few leave; this team will maybe be top 10 but not able to contend with top 5-no way. Especially if they are playing against former teammates that coach doesnt think twice about. .

Are you saying the game is centered on 2 "stars" or trainings? Just curious, to win, that's a typical tactics. No?

bwgophers wrote:
HOWEVER, even if you can get a competitive release, you will NOT be able to play for another team in Lake Highlands until after the fall season is completed. Lake Highlands has a rule that you can not play for a team in QT and then transfer to another team until after the fall season is completed, even if you have a competitive release through NTSSA.

If you want to play in a league with a rec release, you will only be limited to playing in rec (or a league like PSA, which operates outside of NTSSA).

I know this exact scenario played out differently, at least for one d1 player in the 01s. She played with one team, a top team, during QT. Got a competitive release through NTSSA either right before leauge or very early on during league play. Their loophole was they never paid any dues and the contract is NOT binding before dues are paid. Around a month later they joined a different D1 team and even played against the team she went through QT with during league play.

Also, note that club dues and the contract aren't tied together in any other way. Also, anyone that has a bad experience early on in the first year of select can get a competitive release after the season from NTSSA to allow you to swap teams over the winter break. It doesnt matter if you owe dues or not, just go through the NTSSA office and dont hold your breathe for the club release.

Blank77 wrote:

bwgophers wrote:
HOWEVER, even if you can get a competitive release, you will NOT be able to play for another team in Lake Highlands until after the fall season is completed. Lake Highlands has a rule that you can not play for a team in QT and then transfer to another team until after the fall season is completed, even if you have a competitive release through NTSSA.

If you want to play in a league with a rec release, you will only be limited to playing in rec (or a league like PSA, which operates outside of NTSSA).

I know this exact scenario played out differently, at least for one d1 player in the 01s. She played with one team, a top team, during QT. Got a competitive release through NTSSA either right before leauge or very early on during league play. Their loophole was they never paid any dues and the contract is NOT binding before dues are paid. Around a month later they joined a different D1 team and even played against the team she went through QT with during league play.

Also, note that club dues and the contract aren't tied together in any other way. Also, anyone that has a bad experience early on in the first year of select can get a competitive release after the season from NTSSA to allow you to swap teams over the winter break. It doesnt matter if you owe dues or not, just go through the NTSSA office and dont hold your breathe for the club release.

That was a very smart family! They clearly did thier homework!

I'm surprised to read that people feel its so easy to just get released and appear indifferent about it.

What happened to honoring your commitment?

I agree with Pro16 and mamasoccer.

The players should be practicing and developing. They have just started on their either new teams or a team they have been with hopefully for a while. The years of u7-u12/13 are important to develop all their soccer skills and basic small- sided tactics. if there is an issue talk to the coach, and help the player to succeed. These young kids should not learn to just quit when things don't go their way.

If it just happened at QT...the coach should have made it very clear that there will be players who just won't play these games because LHGCL makes it a do or die situation. You have to win the games.

I am sure the coach picked your dd because he or she saw potential in your player. Let the kids develop. It takes 2-3 years to develop a player to function well on a team.
If you need more for your player and the player wants to get more skills, approach the coach and the club about it. They want your player to be a well skilled and knowledable player.

pro16 wrote:I'm surprised to read that people feel its so easy to just get released and appear indifferent about it.

What happened to honoring your commitment?

I am not surprised by the people that come on here and assume it is the payer not honoring the comittment instead of the obvious bait and switch tactics by coaches or other terrible scenarios. I know 3 girls that got releases last year and each circumstance they did what was best for their daughter, which for most of us is more important than a stupid soccer contract. A coach in a single year can ruin the sport for your DD..I saw it first hand last year as one player stuck out an obvious bad fit and a coach that was not helping the situation. From D1 to out of soccer due to parents not rescuing her from a terrible environment due to some sense of honor in a system not designed to protect the player in any way.

Protect your DD first...contract second. Not every situation is worth it.

But how did it get that far if it was so bad? Seems like there would be clear communication as to expectations. Sounds like maybe not?

JH01 wrote:
I am sure the coach picked your dd because he or she saw potential in your player.

Of course. No coach in NTX would ever dream of taking a kid to fill out a roster.

Once again Gunner9- LHGCL rules that say you need exactly 14 players to compete.... and maybe players leaving at the last minute causing teams to fold. One good example was Spirit 02.

Maybe LHGCL should do away with the QT and take all applications into the league and enter them in divisions based on what the team requests and on their league and tournament results. SO 45 teams entered the league d1-10,d2-10,d3-10,d4-8 d5-7....at end of the Fall Season- before spring 2 teams up and 2 teams down or 1 up and one down.... at end of Spring season do the same.
and then at the end of the Spring do the same. Do that for the first year.
The u12 year do the teams up and teams down at the end of the season for next year. They should have it already in place before tryouts.
Also tryouts should be earlier and only 2 weeks long. Get your spot and your committment sign and be done....and then everyone could enjoy a summer of breaks and vacations and come back renewed for the season. Wow, what a concept??? Oh yea, it's not a new concept....that's they way every other state in the US does it.

How does state cup work? Is it the top ranked team per club? Or only so many teams top ranked per division no matter how many from the same club?

Gunner9 wrote:

JH01 wrote:
I am sure the coach picked your dd because he or she saw potential in your player.

Of course. No coach in NTX would ever dream of taking a kid to fill out a roster.

Sure happens all the time. But when my 96 played I posed the question to the coach. I wanted to know where my child fit in the coach's plans. I believe a coach should be upfront with the player. And just as equally I believe the parent should ask questions.

I think both parties share responsibility

jen_nah wrote:How does state cup work? Is it the top ranked team per club? Or only so many teams top ranked per division no matter how many from the same club?

Simply register for it.

pro16 wrote:

Gunner9 wrote:

JH01 wrote:
I am sure the coach picked your dd because he or she saw potential in your player.

Of course. No coach in NTX would ever dream of taking a kid to fill out a roster.

Sure happens all the time. But when my 96 played I posed the question to the coach. I wanted to know where my child fit in the coach's plans. I believe a coach should be upfront with the player. And just as equally I believe the parent should ask questions.

I think both parties share responsibility

Not equally. One party is paying the other. The coaches can and do say what they need to get you to pay, they get paid by roster spots and many couldn't care less about the bottom spots on the roster. This system is buyer beware in the highest order...and if you are duped your did suffers. I applaud those that fight back when they are screwed...I know I would.

Admin wrote:

pro16 wrote:I'm surprised to read that people feel its so easy to just get released and appear indifferent about it.

What happened to honoring your commitment?

I am not surprised by the people that come on here and assume it is the payer not honoring the comittment instead of the obvious bait and switch tactics by coaches or other terrible scenarios. I know 3 girls that got releases last year and each circumstance they did what was best for their daughter, which for most of us is more important than a stupid soccer contract. A coach in a single year can ruin the sport for your DD..I saw it first hand last year as one player stuck out an obvious bad fit and a coach that was not helping the situation. From D1 to out of soccer due to parents not rescuing her from a terrible environment due to some sense of honor in a system not designed to protect the player in any way.

Protect your DD first...contract second. Not every situation is worth it.

Exactly. When a coach has several good players (remember I said this is a top 3 team-who has zero trouble in qualifying tourney) but continues to show favortism to a select few , it destroys the confidence of the ones who are just as good, and dont understand reasons just a few kids are treated better. Thus the ones shown favortism and confidence feel secure and grow and develop, try new things , like all kids should be. And the others will regress, lose all confidence and self esteem on soccer field and will be scared to death to make a mistake for fear of being pulled out. Parents fear it will be a vicious cycle - and the rebuilding process will be hard. So it's a fine line of when to stick it out and when to make a change for the best of your kid. Coaches hold a lot of control with these younger kids who are eager to please their coach, but along those same lines much damage can be done too. It's the parents job to oversee this. So I dont judge anyone trying to do right by their child.

Blank77 wrote:

pro16 wrote:

Gunner9 wrote:

JH01 wrote:
I am sure the coach picked your dd because he or she saw potential in your player.

Of course. No coach in NTX would ever dream of taking a kid to fill out a roster.

Sure happens all the time. But when my 96 played I posed the question to the coach. I wanted to know where my child fit in the coach's plans. I believe a coach should be upfront with the player. And just as equally I believe the parent should ask questions.

I think both parties share responsibility

Not equally. One party is paying the other. The coaches can and do say what they need to get you to pay, they get paid by roster spots and many couldn't care less about the bottom spots on the roster. This system is buyer beware in the highest order...and if you are duped your did suffers. I applaud those that fight back when they are screwed...I know I would.

Sorry if you or others have had bad experiences. I guess I've been fortunate.

yo#10 wrote:

Admin wrote:

pro16 wrote:I'm surprised to read that people feel its so easy to just get released and appear indifferent about it.

What happened to honoring your commitment?

I am not surprised by the people that come on here and assume it is the payer not honoring the comittment instead of the obvious bait and switch tactics by coaches or other terrible scenarios. I know 3 girls that got releases last year and each circumstance they did what was best for their daughter, which for most of us is more important than a stupid soccer contract. A coach in a single year can ruin the sport for your DD..I saw it first hand last year as one player stuck out an obvious bad fit and a coach that was not helping the situation. From D1 to out of soccer due to parents not rescuing her from a terrible environment due to some sense of honor in a system not designed to protect the player in any way.

Protect your DD first...contract second. Not every situation is worth it.

Exactly. When a coach has several good players (remember I said this is a top 3 team-who has zero trouble in qualifying tourney) but continues to show favortism to a select few , it destroys the confidence of the ones who are just as good, and dont understand reasons just a few kids are treated better. Thus the ones shown favortism and confidence feel secure and grow and develop, try new things , like all kids should be. And the others will regress, lose all confidence and self esteem on soccer field and will be scared to death to make a mistake for fear of being pulled out. Parents fear it will be a vicious cycle - and the rebuilding process will be hard. So it's a fine line of when to stick it out and when to make a change for the best of your kid. Coaches hold a lot of control with these younger kids who are eager to please their coach, but along those same lines much damage can be done too. It's the parents job to oversee this. So I dont judge anyone trying to do right by their child.

The single most important factor in the eventual development of your daughter is that she is genuinely considered to be an important player to your team by the coach, by her teammates, and by all the parents. When a person believes they are the spark plug that makes the entire engine work, they show up to every practice and every game in the right frame of mind. Positive attitude is everything, no matter if learning algebra at school or when to play a through ball wide and in front of the onrushing right midfielder.

How you help keep your daughter's attitude positive, right after signing with the now perceived "wrong" coach for the next year, is difficult to answer. Clearly don't discuss play time in front of her. This will only serve to frustrate her because play time is not a factor she can control directly.

In my own soccer sphere, my older kid was a key player for the first U11 year, playing every minute as a defender. She was in the sweet spot of key player treatment by coach, team, and parents, and she beamed confidence and happiness. Our team had numerous defender types and the coach decided that my daughter had the potential to make it as a midfielder, something that felt like a compliment when discussed. But when he made the move, she started coming off the bench and lost her "important player" status with everyone quite quickly. The coach expected that she would pick up midfielder mostly on her own with only a few tips from him as his focus was team shape and team defense. As she lost confidence, the coach spent even less time with her. By the end of U12, she came very close to dropping soccer entirely, and was only rescued by changing teams.

The discussion here talks about bait-and-switch and sticking-it-out-loyalty, contracts and all, and in fact you may have to. But figuring out the right way to keep your daughter's attitude positive is really the bigger, far more important issue.

yo#10 wrote:

Admin wrote:

pro16 wrote:I'm surprised to read that people feel its so easy to just get released and appear indifferent about it.

What happened to honoring your commitment?

I am not surprised by the people that come on here and assume it is the payer not honoring the comittment instead of the obvious bait and switch tactics by coaches or other terrible scenarios. I know 3 girls that got releases last year and each circumstance they did what was best for their daughter, which for most of us is more important than a stupid soccer contract. A coach in a single year can ruin the sport for your DD..I saw it first hand last year as one player stuck out an obvious bad fit and a coach that was not helping the situation. From D1 to out of soccer due to parents not rescuing her from a terrible environment due to some sense of honor in a system not designed to protect the player in any way.

Protect your DD first...contract second. Not every situation is worth it.

Exactly. When a coach has several good players (remember I said this is a top 3 team-who has zero trouble in qualifying tourney) but continues to show favortism to a select few , it destroys the confidence of the ones who are just as good, and dont understand reasons just a few kids are treated better. Thus the ones shown favortism and confidence feel secure and grow and develop, try new things , like all kids should be. And the others will regress, lose all confidence and self esteem on soccer field and will be scared to death to make a mistake for fear of being pulled out. Parents fear it will be a vicious cycle - and the rebuilding process will be hard. So it's a fine line of when to stick it out and when to make a change for the best of your kid. Coaches hold a lot of control with these younger kids who are eager to please their coach, but along those same lines much damage can be done too. It's the parents job to oversee this. So I dont judge anyone trying to do right by their child.

May I ask what team you are reffering to. We are a top three team and I see none of this. I also think thinks are running smoothly at the other two teams that people consider to be top three.

If this is a top 3 team that qualified easily then I bet this team has been together for some time before select. Most of the families would and should know what the coach is like in stressful games already. Families need to stop being so quick to not honor their committment. They should have known what they were getting into before they signed a contract. If you sign on with a brand new team and coach turns out to be a tyrant then by all means take care of your dd but too often families are looking for an out the first time things don't go like they want it to! Trying to work things out with the coach this early in the year just might teach your daughter a valuable lesson about not giving up and working things out.

There are lots of first time parents that don't /didnt know what they were getting in to and it is understandable some have buyer's remorse Especially on the top teams where they are used to cake walks and playing everyone. Now all games matter and girls that got 50% may now get 10% and their parents may be shocked.

Back on my idealistic viewpoint but all of this reminds me of the interview I saw with Carli Lloyd after the gold medal match with Japan where she scored two goals. She commented that she was not slated to be a starter in the Olympics. She wasn't even sure she would get a chance to play on the field in the Olympics...or if she did how much time on the field she would have. She was not one of the top dogs on the team. She said she decided if she got her opportunity she needed to take advantage of it and give it everything she had. She was going to do everything in her power to prove to everyone that she deserved to be on the field and that she could play with the best. She certainly did that in the final match. If anyone questioned her ability and her place on the team prior to the Olympics... I would say they no longer do.

Sometimes obstacles and challenges bring about opportunities..

Not saying you have to stay in the situation is not right for your dd but sometimes it is worth the fight if you are up for the challenge and you believe she is one of the best on the team.

Only on here do people compare 02 LHGCL U11 soccer to USWNT. As I always state...txsoccer.net, full of normal people.

Oh so cynical. Too funny. It was not really a comparison to NTX soccer at all just a reference to an awesome interview with a girl who plays soccer, and who some of our dd's might look up to. She too had questions about whether she would be given an opportunity on this team. Despite her view of her circumstances she had the desire to win her position and time on the field rather than give up. I wonder whether that is innate or taught or a little bit of both. I am going to make my own guess. You can make your own.

"I'm surprised to read that people feel its so easy to just get released and appear indifferent about it.

What happened to honoring your commitment?"

do what's best for your DD, the kiddie soccer coach will be fine. in a few months he/she won't even remember your kid's name. you are paying for this, treat it accordingly.......

mamasoccer wrote:Back on my idealistic viewpoint but all of this reminds me of the interview I saw with Carli Lloyd after the gold medal match with Japan where she scored two goals. She commented that she was not slated to be a starter in the Olympics. She wasn't even sure she would get a chance to play on the field in the Olympics...or if she did how much time on the field she would have. She was not one of the top dogs on the team. She said she decided if she got her opportunity she needed to take advantage of it and give it everything she had. She was going to do everything in her power to prove to everyone that she deserved to be on the field and that she could play with the best. She certainly did that in the final match. If anyone questioned her ability and her place on the team prior to the Olympics... I would say they no longer do.

Sometimes obstacles and challenges bring about opportunities..

Not saying you have to stay in the situation is not right for your dd but sometimes it is worth the fight if you are up for the challenge and you believe she is one of the best on the team.

Don't forget different maturity of a full grown up Carli Lloyd and a 10 year old. Our kids play hard and act tough. Parents forget that they have zero life experience with bench sitting. Carli has played on teams where only a few subs are used and the bench is huge. 10 year olds act mature but up until now have never been benched by coach's choice. It is easy to get really down on yourself when you are 10 and you used to be the star player just last year.

hombre wrote:
Don't forget different maturity of a full grown up Carli Lloyd and a 10 year old. Our kids play hard and act tough. Parents forget that they have zero life experience with bench sitting. Carli has played on teams where only a few subs are used and the bench is huge. 10 year olds act mature but up until now have never been benched by coach's choice. It is easy to get really down on yourself when you are 10 and you used to be the star player just last year.

Parents forget mature issue less then coaches. How many coaches in Texas yelling harsh language and yelling threatening things to little girls? I see many coaches who are treating young girls like they are 18 or 20 year boys. Stupid. For most kids complementary things said work better then harsh things said.